Roarrr! Roarrrrrrrrrr! Did I scare you? No? ROAAAAARRRR!! How about now? Yes? Great! I still have it!
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Samson and I used to roar all the time. Running through the Bhoomieland savanna, hiding behind rocks and trees until I could pounce on someone and roar out my strength until they ran away. After a while though, I got tired of trying to prove my strength and that’s how my whole balancing act came about.
You see, one day I was waiting behind that big, old baobab tree (or as I call him – Big B) when I felt that familiar itch. It was the first sign of a big roar and usually if it itched, it meant the roar would be so big that I couldn’t control it. I didn’t like to lose control. Losing control was like losing my fur. It made me feel vulnerable and exposed to everyone around me. But I couldn’t stop it and then before you could even throw a mane back-and-forth, it would be too late, I would be roaring chaotically and everyone around me would be running away.
But that day behind Big B, just as I was getting ready to roar my paws off, a warm voice suddenly bubbled inside me and it bubbled so much that my roar turned into a puff of candy floss instead. That’s when my inner mother introduced herself. Usually I handle mothers pretty well, you see being a lion means that I have to deal with a whole family of mothers that tell me which way to lick my fur and how I should not waste my time thinking about things too much. But this mother was different. This mother said that I should embrace the chaos inside me and draw inspiration from it, and rather than let it out as a roar I could let it out as poetry, like David Whyte or Sarah Kay. You see – I too am a creative.
So I started to embrace my softer side, the one that wanted to create beautiful things. It wasn’t easy, because I didn’t know exactly how to be a creative, but my inner mother kept encouraging me to just go for it. She had a similar view as my lion mothers when it came to thinking, and that too much of it could stop you from taking the leap to do something – especially too much thinking about others’ expectations of you.
My mothers keep me safe; they guard our pack and feed us until our bellies have no more space for emptiness. They teach us how to hunt for ourselves and how to protect ourselves when they’re no longer able to and although my inner mother does all these things too, she also has one special, extra power, the power to live inside me and nurture me with love and acceptance for myself when it feels like everything around me is lost in one great big roar.
So next time you feel a big roar coming and your world is turned downside-up, and your head feels heavy with everyone else’s expectations, then remember your inner puff – your mother that is unique to only you. Lean on her until you find your own balance. Keep going for it and enjoy every minute of chaos, because chaos is life and life is there to live.
How big is your inner puff?